Little Bit

Little Bit is Joe's favorite cat. She is the most cuddly of our two cats and is so good with the kids. She's got a major problem though. She pees. Yes, I know cats are supposed to pee, but they are supposed to pee in their litter box. Not on the firewood carrier, the stroller, the couch, the beds, the bathroom rugs. We isolated her in the office for a while in hopes that we could fix the problem. We let her out and it was fixed for a bit. It's been about 2 months now and she is peeing again. We took the tops off the litter boxes, we haven't changed litter (ever!), and she's been to the vet for exams. I love this cat. I've had her since she was 3 months old and she is now 9 1/2 years old.

I don't think we can find her a new home because she would probably do this somewhere else too. We are basically stuck with three options: 1) isolate her again for good 2) make her an outdoor kitty or 3) put her to sleep.

Well, I can tell you right now that I am NOT putting her to sleep. She does have some health problems, but nothing major and I disagree with putting an animal to sleep because of a behavior thing.

She is miserable being isolated because she is such a "person" cat and she doesn't get enough interaction when she is isolated.

We live by two busy streets and I do know if I could stand seeing her hit by a car so I am reluctant to put her outside.

I also, though, can't have her peeing inside on our things anymore. She has ruined a lot of things, not to mention the smell that seems to prevade even after stuff is washed.

Poor kitty. I just don't know what to do.

The house and public schools

Yesterday we looked at the house that needs work on 10 acres. Despite the fact that the house needs quite a bit of cosmetic updating, I really liked the house. The big problem is the schools are horrible! The elementary, middle and high school are some of the poorest performing schools in the state- and they are not even City schools! One school district west of that house are great schools, but the ones for the house are really low down on the test scores, performance indicators, and parent ratings.
I have always been a very strong advocate of public schools. I strongly believe that private schools are ruining the public schools. By giving parents an alternative to their local school district, then the parents who care about education and have money move their kids to a private school. A lot of these parents also have the ability to help out more at school and are more involved with their child's education. It's not that lower income families don't care because many many do, but many of the parents have jobs (sometimes mulitple jobs) and are unable to volunteer during the day. I could be totally off, but I do have a problem with private schools.
That being said, how do you make the decision between a house and your children's education and your own personal values. If we wanted just the education, we would stay in our current house. AA county has many very good schools and the high school that my kids would go to is the better of the two in Pasadena. The Baltimore County house has more space inside (1750 sq feet on main floor and 1750 in basement= 3500 sq feet vs our house of 990 sq ft on main floor and 850 on lower floor = 1840). It also have more space outside with a huge 10.84 acre lot vs our 1.45 acre lot. It is also located on non-busy roads and way back from the road. It looks like a perfect place for boys.
I just can't get past the schools though...

Perhaps, maybe...

For so long, I have wanted to move. While I love my neighbors, I don't really like our neighborhood. The streets are too busy and there are too many kids who wander around misbehaving. Our house, while a little small now, would be way too small for high school age boys!
One day a few weeks ago, Jay finally started talking about moving. We looked around our area and didn't see a whole lot. Jay also looked in other areas where he could get a job. Most places have a higher cost of living than Maryland so it wouldn't help us to move. Jay found some jobs in Syracuse NY, but once we looked into it, we couldn't afford the taxes. $10,000 + a year for a $400,000 house???!!! Are you kidding?
That's okay, because I didn't really feel comfortable making Jay change jobs. Jay likes and enjoys his job and does really well at it.
Jay seems to have a lack of motivation on finishing up the projects on our house in order to move. He says he needs a goal...a place to work towards...not just the goal of putting the house on the market and trying to sell.
We searched and searched online for a house with outdoor space and a lack of busy roads in our price range. We also didn't want a much smaller house unless it was easy to add onto. Our current house would be difficult to add onto, but could be done. (though nothing seems to be able to be done about the traffic!)
On Saturday, Jay wanted to drive around and look at a few things for sell. He didn't plan anything beyond two building lots. Neither lot was any good. One was completely in the flood plain of the Patasco River and the other just didn't look great. We did see something that was for sale that we thought looked great. (We later looked it up online only to find it was about $200,000 more than we could afford)
So, we went back home and made a list of the all the places that fit our price range, were over 5 acres, and were within 45 minutes of Jay's work. There were about a half dozen.
I mapped them out and they were all fairly close to each other. I planned a route and we set out again on Sunday morning.
The first house was a little tiny 4 bedroom rancher on a 10 acre lot. The house needs a lot of cosmetic work and updating. The yard and land were really nice (though neglected.) We left with a pretty good feeling and our hopes were high for the day.
The second house was sorta a nightmare. It was an 18 bedroom (I think 8, but with a typo) and 7 bathroom house and 19 acres. It needs work and when we arrived we noticed that it must have been some sort of insitution at one time. Perhaps it does have 18 bedrooms... It had an inground pool, an overgrown basketball court, tennis court, and baseball diamond. It also had massive power lines running right next to the house!!! I didn't think that they could be built that close to a house! It was a dump and of no interest to us.
The third house was a three bedroom house on 6 acres. It was a newer house than the first two, but was located in the middle of nowhere and the only way to get to it was on narrow twisting 1 lane roads. While it looked 45 minutes by map, the reality was it was just too far away from a main road. It would have taken Jay 20 minutes just to get back to a main road and then 40 minutes from there.
The fourth house was a no go because it's 7 acres lined up against a major highway.
The fifth house was bust because it was next door to liquor store and across the road from a sewage treatment plant.
The sixth house was built in 2000 and had 5 bedrooms and 3 bathrooms. I had the highest hopes for this one, though it was at the very top end of our price range. I had looked a several pictures online and thought the inside was beautiful and the house looked nice. It was located in a subdivision, but it had 14 acres. I was so excited to see it, until I actually did. The house looked perfect and it's driveway was tucked out of the way and with the trees and everything, you couldn't even see the other houses. But, the MASSIVE power lines running right next to the house was a huge turn off. They were even closer than the other house had them. Probably less than 100 yards away. And, that house was built after the power lines were put in. We had to drive under the lines to get to the house. What the hell is up with that?
So to finish our day, we drove back to the first house and got out and walked around it. We peaked in the windows (the house is empty, btw) and nosed around. While the house was small, it could be added onto easily. It is affordable (relatively, for this area) and has space. It is private and has a full basement. The basement is not finished and doesn't have much natural light, but could still be a game room or something. It has a big outdated kitchen and 4 small bedrooms. The kids like the paved driveway (better to ride bikes) and the massive playset in the backyard (though Jay would need to work on it a bit).
I'm not saying we are going to buy it, but it at least gave Jay the needed motivation. I'll keep you all posted.

A little of this and that

I am inspired by a friend's post to write just some general things about this and that.

Sammy-
He is learning to talk very very quickly now. I am always in such awe when a child starts to put together words and concepts and sentences. Recently, I was sitting with Sam in his bed and putting him down for the night. He was holding up his buddies and talking about them. He held up a giraffe and said "I wuv Sprinkles". So I held up some of his other buddies and asked if he loved them and he said yes, he liked them, but he loved sprinkles. It was really cute.

Tommy-
There is a country song about a country boy owning a 4 wheel drive. Tommy said that he was going to be a country boy when he grew up because he was going to own a 4 wheel drive. He then proceeded to explain that Mommy was a country girl because she has a four wheel drive, but that Daddy was not a country boy because he drove a little car.

Joe-
Joe is getting to be so big. There are times when I see him or his picture and I really wonder how he got to be such a big boy. He loves learning to read and is excited to be able to read many of his books.

Tonight, I babysat my friends two little girls. They were just going down to bed as I arrived and there was some concern if the youngest would allow her mom a night out. The youngest woke up before her mommy was even out of the driveway and I went up and comforted her. She was completed confused about who I was. She touching my face and just looking at me. She finally fell asleep. She then woke up about two hours later screaming. I managed to walk her around a while and get her back to sleep. Then the older daughter sorta woke up and was crying for her mom and was a little scared that I was there. She fell back to sleep after a few minutes, but I really think she was freaked out by me being there instead of her mom. In all, everything went really well and my friend got a few hours out and about.

Sammy's poor little elbow

Today, I was trying to get Sammy into his bedroom for a diaper change and a break. I was holding his hand and walking down the hall. He started to throw a fit and threw himself onto the floor. Unfortunately, I was still holding his hand. I heard a quick "pop pop" and let go as soon as his arm popped. But it was too late. Sam was already crying (from his fit) and started crying worse. I carried him to his room and changed him. He fell asleep crying in my arms. I wasn't sure what was wrong, but he wasn't really using his arm. I put him in bed and as he was sleeping, everytime he moved, he cried out. I called the doctor and she gave me an appointment for later in the day. I had to wake him up for the bus stop and to go to the doctor. He wouldn't use his arm at all. We didn't see our usual doctor but Dr. West heard the story and nodded "Nursemaid's elbow". I had never heard of such a thing, but Sammy had it. The ligament was badly inflamed because it had been two hours since it had popped so she had some trouble popping it back. I have never ever heard Sammy scream like that. His arm seemed just fine by dinner time though. Unfortunately, the problem will likely happen again as the doctor thinks Sammy will be prone to it. Ugh. Everytime it happens (if it does), we will have to take him to the doctor quickly to have it popped back.

I Will Fear No Evil

Again, the title of a Robert Heilein novel, though a slightly better one than "The Cat Who Walks Through Walls". The title is very fitting for the end of this evening.
I went out with the gals this evening for a very nice evening at a fun movie about the relationships between girls and guys. On the way home, we chatted a bit about past relationships. I alluded to the 4 years of misery that I had, but didn't really go into all the gory details. And I completely didn't mention the very first serious relationship that I had.
Anywhoo, I get on facebook this evening and two names popped up under the "people you may know" function. The odds of both of these names popping up seems very remote to me, but there they were. The only two names that make my heart race and me feel nervous and weird.
The first name, Tim, was my first serious relationship and it didn't end well and sorta drug on for years. I haven't spoken to him since high school but he was my 'first' and that hold is still there, even though I lost any serious feelings long ago. It said that we had 7 mutual friends and I was curious if one of them was Kendra. She and I used to be best friends until he broke up with me for her. I never had any hard feelings towards either of them for long, but Kendra and I were never as close because he was still between us even long after they broke up. (and no, Kendra was not 1 of the 7 friends).
The other name symbolizes almost pure evil in my dreams. It was a nightmare of a relationship for 4 long years and no one (not even Jay) really knows what all went on. There are many nights throughout the year that I wake up in a cold sweat because of some horrible dream with him in it. This evening in the car, I played it off as not that bad, but it was a lot worse. Especially after I got out of it and looked back at it. And...I am sure that it had something to do with my weight gain, but I have no proof. I really started packing on the pounds after I was free of him. Maybe just the freedom in general made me eat. who knows.
Of course, maybe it is just an easy way out for me to blame things on a man I haven't spoken to in over 9 years. Either way, seeing his full name on facebook and the fact that he will one day see mine makes me feel really weird and I am not sure how I feel about it.

The Cat Who Walked Through Walls

Okay, that is actually a medicore book by Robert Heinlein, but Pixel (the cat) seems to share a super power with my son Sam. You see, Pixel can walk through walls because he never knew that he couldn't go through the wall. He did it one day as a kitten and it worked, so he never learned that he couldn't go through walls. Anyway...
We have been having trouble keeping Sam in his room for his break time so we decided to turn the door knob around so that the lock was on the outside and we would just lock him in. I turned the door knob, tested it (it worked!) and then tucked Sammy in for his break (he doesn't nap anymore).
I then went out into the driveway to clean my car and messed with a few other things outside. About 45 minutes later, I came inside and it was really quiet. I thought maybe that Sam had fallen asleep. I opened his door (it was still locked!) and went in his room. HE WAS GONE!! I looked everywhere in his tiny room and then opened the window and told Jay that I couldn't find Sam. Jay came up and looked with me. We yelled several times to Sam but he never answered. I searched my room and the boys' room...nothing. I was starting to feel that panic feeling that a mom gets when her kid is missing. I think Jay was starting to feel it too.
We continued to call to Sam with no answer and I went down to the basement. He wasn't in the toy room but my office (which is right under his bedroom) had the door open. There was Sam sitting at my craft table covered in lotion. He looked up and said "for hands!". He ruined a few pages I had going on, but I wasn't mad. I was just happy he hadn't disappeared!

Don't sweat the small stuff

I used to be such an organized, "together" person. I feel like I am a scatterbrain now. I am not sure what has changed over the years, but I never used to pay any bills late. Never used to miss appointments, never missed my parents birthdays. Never misplaced or lost anything. I was always clean. I never had a messy room as a kid. I wasn't messy in college. I wasn't messy until after the second kid. I had a system. I knew where stuff was and it was always where it was supposed to be.
Now, I am a mess. My house is a mess. My paperwork is a mess. My brain is a mess. I ran out of checks in my checkbook and went to the office to get a refill. There were none! There should be because my reorder form says that my next order starts on check number 2200. My next check should be 2170. Where are my 30 checks? I have no clue and I have three checks that I need to write. I have searched everywhere. I even dumped my purse out and cleaned it. I was very embarrassed about the mess inside my purse. When I dumped it on the floor, Jay said "That's disgusting". No food or anything, just a royal mess of things that I either need or didn't need. I recently cleaned the office and sorted everything. Unfortunately, I tend to be running behind whenever I need my scrapbooking stuff and so my room gets all messed up. Now, it's a mess and I can't even do the work I need to do. What is wrong with me?!? I feel like if I could just get everything set back to zero, I could keep up with it. the problem is the fact that I am so far behind that I can't keep up. If I could just get the laundry, dishes, clutter, etc. cleaned, then I could work on the bigger problems. But the laundry, dishes and clutter are never cleaned. Even when I work really hard and get all three cleaned, they are back the next day. I really want to get a system set up like it used to be.
Well, I need to go search my car for my checks. No clue why, but they could be in there.